The World Tickling Championships, Nymburk, Bohemia.
Commentary From The Celebrated Event!

Lipton Lyons: Well, things are very much in the balance here in Nymburk, Bohemia for the annual, World Tickling Championships. Isn’t that so, Percy?
Percy Gorrindge: You couldn’t be more right, Lipton. Two of the superstars of the sport, the Prussian, Yurgi Grappenspitzer, and Kentuky born elder statesmen of the sport, Champ O’Haffety are fighting it out for the chance at the coveted Three-Fingered Cup.
Lipton: Now, Grappenspitzer has had some early success with two smirks from O’Haffety and a partial lip-tremble, but O’Haffety has begun to counter very nicely by drumming up some cheek-redness in the brawny Prussian that might’ve resulted in a faint nose-snort, although the judges have ruled this out using their wind-metres.
Percy: Yes, the needle didn’t seem to move on that one, Lipton, so we go into the next round with Grappenspitzer’s turn to use his preferred great crested grebe feather, and we wait for the flag to go down…and…
He’s off! Aiming straight for the soft pliable pink meat just below O’Haffety’s paunch — a spot that has traditionally given the American some trouble in the past. I’m thinking the Icelandic Qualifiers in Grindavick in 72, Lipton.
Lipton: Yes indeed, Percy. That was an astonishing turn of events. Two Norton Giggles and a Sicillian Laughing Bark that meant a long, hard struggle back to the top-tier of tickling for almost three years for The Kentucky Tantalizer.
Percy: Yet, O’Haffetty seems to be holding up very well here under the Prussian’s attentions, Lipton. No sign of chest inflation and the expression remains placid even as Grappenspitzer moves the tip of the feather to the navel…
Lipton: Just another thirty seconds on the clock now Percy, and with the American’s big goose feather up next this will go down to the wire. It looks like Grappenspitzer is out of luck around the belly button…
Percy: But wait! The Judges have perked up, Lipton! O’Haffety looks in trouble!
Lipton: Good gravy, I think you may be right, Percy! Is this going to be a repeat of 72?
Percy: Yes…Yes…There’s some definite pursing, and a reddening around those corpulant jowls, Lipton!
Lipton: Oh my Lord, it looks like Grappenspitzer has got him! This is a great surprise! The Judges are rushing out with their wind-metres! The American is squinting. The seconds are dribbling away, but I don’t think he’s going to hold on!
Percy: No! You’re right, Lipton! There’s the grin! There’s the belly-shake. Grappenspitzer is pressing his advantage and…and…
Lipton: That’s it! There is it! The high-pitched Lambeth Half-shriek followed by a clear Toulouse Cackle! It’s all over! The Prussian has him! Grappenspitzer has beaten perhaps one of the greatest ever to hold a goose down feather!
Percy: And just looks at the emotion on Grappenspitzer’s face. He’s kicked over the feather table and now here’s his trainer, Barnabas Zook, himself a very fine tickler in his day, celebrating with the new World Champion! Well, Grappenspitzer has taken this competition by the scruff of the neck all the way through and it’s paid off, Lipton. Great scenes. Emotional scenes, as O’Haffety’s laughter turns to tears.
Comments